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hello rowing. hello blisters, bruises, muscle cramps, back pain, and general hatred of life.

hello sickness and missing class and sitting out rowing because my immune system is such a baby.

i miss summer. =(


Racing Saturday in downtown Chicago (at U of C)... this is my first time racing in a 4 and, oh yeah, only my second time even rowing in a 4. SCARY!

I don't know if I'm going to row next year. There are so many reasons to continue, and so many reasons not to. People keep asking me about it, and I don't know what to tell them.

oh well, it's all in good hands. 

PS if you ever get bored, read my personal blog hilaryphillips.blogspot.com 
College continues to kick my butt.

Crew started this week. I am in an unbelievable amount of pain... I can't walk without limping and can't walk up or down stairs because muscles that I never knew existed are so sore. Trust me when I say you have never known pain until you trained as a rower. Today I pulled the best erg split of my life, and tomorrow I'm supposed to repeat it. Hopefully without the puking part.

Classes aren't as easy as I had anticipated. I have 2 tests tomorrow and since I haven't studied, have confined myself to my room for the next five hours. I got on the honor roll last semester, but I have to do better than that this semester.

Otherwise, I'm just trying to catch up on everything else that I've let fall behind, and maybe get some sleep. I think I'm happy though.
Me: "Is it weird that when I'm stressed, my piercings hurt more?"
Jessi: "I was just going to say that there's nothing that it's weird for stress to make worse, but then you said that."

Jessi: "Does every country have a Messiah? Or is it just Israel?"

Jessi (reading a bedtime story online): "Dylan knew that it was okay because if he wanted to, he could probably eat those kids."
Me: "How is this is a bedtime story? How am I supposed to sleep thinking about this???"

Jessi: "If I killed myself, would you hate me or just hate humanity in general?"

Me: "I saw your roommate and her sister, and I would have said happy birthday but I couldn't tell which one was her."
Jessi: "They're TWINS. It's both of their birthdays!"

Aug. 19th, 2009

 I'm here at North Park now. It took me all of 30 minutes to move in this morning, and I have the rest of the week to fill with completely unnecessary orientation. 
 She got the call today
One out of the gray
And when the smoke cleared
It took her breath away

She said she didn't believe
It could happen to me
I guess we're all one phone call from our knees

We're gonna get there soon

If every building falls
And all the stars fade
We'll still be singing this song
The one they can't take away

I'm gonna get there soon
She's gonna be there too
Cryin' in her room
Prayin' oh, Lord come through

We're gonna get there soon

Oh, it's your light
Oh, it's your way
Pull me out of the dark
Just to shoulder the weight
Cryin' out now
From so far away
You pull me closer to love
Closer to love

Meet me once again
Down off Lake Michigan
Where we could feel the storm blowin'
Down with the wind

And don't apologize
For all the tears you've cried
You've been way too strong now for all your life

I'm gonna get there soon
You're gonna be there too
Cryin' in your room
Prayin' Lord come through

We're gonna get there soon

Oh, it's your light
Oh, it's your way
Pull me out of the dark
Just to shoulder the weight
Cryin' out now
From so far away
You pull me closer to love
Closer to love

Cause you are all that I've waited for all of my life
(We're gonna get there)
You are all that I've waited all of my life

You pull me closer to love
Closer to love
Pull me closer to love (You are all that I've waited for)
You pull me closer to love
Closer to love
Closer to love (Cause you are all that I've waited for)
Closer to love

Pull me closer to love

Aug. 6th, 2009

 Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can’t use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Repost as “my life according to (band name)”

Pick your Artist:
Death Cab for Cutie

Are you a male or female:
Different Names for the Same Thing

Describe Yourself:
Crooked Teeth

How do you feel:
Your Heart is an Empty Room

Describe where you are currently living:
No Joy in Mudville

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Your New Twin Sized Bed =P

Your favorite form of transportation:
Passenger Seat

Your best friend has:
Summer Skin

You and your best friend are:
Pictures in an Exhibition

Favorite time of day:
No Sunlight

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
The Sound of Settling

What is life to you:
A Lack of Color

Your last relationship:
Someday You Will Be Loved

freaking out!

i hope you know that i hate coming on here to whine, but i have a couple of thinks that need prayer right now.

1. first, long story.... one of my teachers never graded my make-up final for a class i wasn't able to complete (i took an incomplete in about half
my classes when dad died, and made up the finals later) so the school automatically gives me an F in the class after 3 months.
bottom line is, i currently have an F on my transcript, which is murder to my GPA, and i can't send my transcripts to any transfer schools with it looking like this.

2. FAFSA deadlines are in less than a week, and i can't complete mine until both mine and my dad's taxes are done. obviously, my dad's taxes are a huge chore, which we're working on, but it's really stressful to be cutting it this close to the FAFSA deadline. Without financial aid, I can't go to school in the fall.

3. triton is threatening not to let me graduate unless they get an official copy of my transcripts and high school diploma.  i already sent them once, but they must have lost them or something- problem is, i don't have another copy of my transcripts signed by my dad, and he never signed my high school diploma either.

4. I just found out i have 7 days to apply to UIC, the school my dad wanted me to go to, but no high school transcrips, triton transcripts, financial aid, or money for the application fee.

so facing the prospects of being denied graduation, transfer acceptance, and financial aid, i'm having a hard time not killing myself. i know it's silly to worry when God can take care, but this is my FUTURE and it's kind of a big deal.

confessions of a homeschooler

so i saw this on facebook and it made me ridiculously sad....

How homeschooled are you??
[X] You own/have owned a denim jumper
[X] You were at least 13 when you got your first "trendy" haircut
[X] Everything in your closet at some time was referred to as modest
[X] You did/have tucked things in that shouldn't be tucked in
[X] You have been a member of at least 3 co-ops
[X] You were/will be a true 16 and never been kissed
[X] Your mom drives/drove a van of some sort
[X] You have at least one childhood picture where you, your mom, and all your siblings matched
[ ] You are/were/will be a PSEO Student
[X] At some point in your life you were more comfortable with adults than kids your own age
[X] Have studied ways to defend your beliefs, debate, and/or create laws
[X] Used uber conservative A-Beka curriculum
Total: 11

[X] You use big words that most adults could not use in conversation
[X] You can use the words sublime, epiphany, and cognizant
[X] You have a favorite word.
[X] You have an understanding of Latin root words and how to use them
[X] People from the outside world are referred to as "public schoolers"
[X] You or one of your siblings knits.
[X] You laugh at the decline in literacy in America
[X] You score constantly higher than "public schoolers" on standardized tests.
[ ] You have no concept of cafeteria food
[X] Family vacations are/can be referred to as "Field Trips"
[X] Traveling on said vacations have included stopping at historical site markers along the way
[X] You have never been in a public elementary school, middle school, or high school during regular school hours
[X] You have gone to or been involved in a homeschool convention
Total: 12
Total so far: 23

[X] You read books on a regular basis
[X] You have taken part in a political protest
[X] You were a Pride and Prejudice fan before the movie
[ ] You were a Lord of the Rings fan prior to the movie
[X] You were a Chronicles of Narnia fan before the movie
[ ] You speak a language other than English
[ ] You used to dream of dating characters from books instead of celebrities
Total: 4
Total so far: 27

It has been ASSUMED that you:
[ ] Have won many spelling bees
[X] Have no social life
[X] Have no friends of the opposite gender
[X] Are outstandingly smart
[X] Are extremely inept
[X] Only listen to classical music
[X] Play piano or the violin
[X] Do not own a pair of trendy jeans
[X] Have no knowledge of drugs or alcohol
[X] Don't date, only court
[X] Have never been to a "party"
[X] Know no other beliefs other than what your family believes
Total: 11
Total so far: 38

You have been asked more than 10 times:
[X] If you wear pajamas to school
[X] If you get perfect grades because your mom grades you
[X] If your mom teaches you or if somebody else does
[X] How do you meet people
[X] Why you aren't in school
[X] If you get days off whenever you want
[X] If you're going to be homeschooled through college
[X] If you have a big family
[X] What your parents are protecting you from
[ ] To quote something famous
[X] For the answer, because supposedly homeschoolers always have all the answers
Total: 10
Final Total: 48 (out of 55)

1-10 You're not really a homeschooler...you just do school at home
11-21 You're a homeschooler, but not what the world expects
22-32 You're a homeschooler
33-? You probably wouldn't have facebook to begin with...but congrats you're the stereotypical homeschooler
25 random things about me... which everybody else is doing on facebook, but since i hate facebook notes (everybody smile and say "myspage bulletins!") am doing it on here:

1. My absolute favorite people in the world are my two little sisters.
2. I crave sushi ALL THE TIME. Even the mention of it is making me want some- NOW! lol
3. This isn't my natural hair color.
4. If I wasn't in pre-med, I would probably be in psychology/counseling or student affairs.
5. I haven't eaten a banana since 2005.
6. So far I have 2 of the 6 graduation tassels I plan to get.
7. I am one of the most unemotional people you will ever meet, and other than laughing, have to force myself to display any kind of emotion- even smiling.
8. I am absent-minded to a fault.
9. Sometimes I lie in bed awake at night worrying about what I'm going to write my dissertation on. I know that it's ridiculous to worry about it, but it's something I've been obsessed with for years.
10. My friend German managed to break my habits of both slouching and twirling my hair, but it bugs him endlessly that I can't stop biting my nails.
11. I can't stand self pity, and I can't stand inflicting my problems on other people.
12. I am completely immune to caffeine.
13. I never read the Lord of the Rings or the Chronicles of Narnia as a kid, but that was probably because I was too busy reading my brothers' old Triton textbooks (and I still have them!).
14. I used to get hives from my food allergies that were so bad that they made my face literally unrecognizable. The worst case was after my grandma's funeral, and I wouldn't leave the house.
15. I am the biggest sucker for kids who sell things door-to-door, because I used to be one of those kids.
16. I got cheated off of on every single class last year, not because I'm actually smart, but because I kind of have a reputation for being a teachers pet. =)
17. I can fall asleep anywhere, no matter how uncomfortable.
18. I can't remember the last time I wasn't sick.
19. I think I have a sprained toe.
20. I took violin lessons for 3 years in high school.
21.I say "definitely" and "clearly" too much.
22. I hate stereotypes about conservatives, as well as the people who exemplify them!
23. I can't wait to be a doctor!
24. I have a lot of nicknames at school, including Hilatree, Hilary Dillary Duff, and Skankilicious.
25. I am desperately seeking a date for the valentine's luncheon at school!!! LOL